


ghostwriter

by pandabrite



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, One Shot, Stolen Century, a lot of gay fluff in this one boys, lupcretia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 18:38:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12636855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandabrite/pseuds/pandabrite
Summary: hope is hard to hold onto when the road is long and never ending. and lucretia struggles just as much as the rest of the crew to keep her chin held high. lup hopes to share a little light with her. lup and lucretia reminisce about old times. lucretia finds some hope.





	ghostwriter

**Author's Note:**

> day 4 of NaNoWriMo TAZ madness. the prompt for today was 4. Ghostwriter. the prompt list i'm following is from tumblr user lucretia-the-director. there's a lot of lupcretia hinting in this, and a whoooole lot of lup cheesin' it, which is kind of what she does best, i guess. also one really silly magnus drawing... which can be found [ http://bit.ly/2zfzjkM ] here.

Lucretia knew what she was there to do. And, to be frank, she _excelled_ at it.

Though, the scale of things had certainly changed in an unexpected way… what was supposed to be a three month journey, and a three month length account of said journey, had now turned into _years_. And those years had no end in sight… Arduous, neverending years...

And it was affecting them all. Optimism and determination had been in excess when they took off for this journey, and they maintained even once the journey had taken a turn for the unexpected and arguably _the worst_ … but now that there was no end in sight, no reprieve from their missions… no light at the end of the tunnel… optimism and determination were in short supply.

No one wanted to talk about it. Why would they? _What good did it do?_

Verily, Lucretia felt it as well. She dutifully completed her job each year, each cycle-- she recorded _everything._ In meticulous, neat, painstaking detail… But lately, a sinking feeling had touched her soul… a feeling of hopelessness that she hoped to _never_ harbor, for once they lost hope, then what did they have left..?

But as journals lined the wall of her quarters… as sketchbooks were filled and filled… as time trickled on and reset and reset and reset… she could only wonder just what was... what was the point? Who would ever read their journey if their journey never ended? Who was it for? If it went on forever? If they were trapped, fleeing the ever hunting, hungry wolves for the rest of eternity…

She felt as though she had very little to contribute to the crew aside these skills she was brought on board for. Of course, she wasn’t without use, she knew better than that… but… amongst this group of travellers, of talented arcanists and powerful fighters… in dire times of survival and struggle, she… felt very _discouraged_. She had a very specific set of skills, and they were generally non malleable to situations not specifically requiring someone to keep a real good log of what was happening…

_A ghostwriter._

While she felt she had kept a careful control of her outward countenance, of fleeting uncertainties, it didn’t go entirely without notice...

…

She’d holed herself up in her quarters for the night early, making a gentle excuse to her crewmates about being fatigued from the plane they were currently visiting… and to be fair, the air was quite cloying and the atmospheric pressure was causing them all various levels of discomfort… she unwillingly had to sit the initial expedition out in lieu of the more hearty members of their team braving the inhospitable conditions… 

And it was… _disheartening._ She would have to listen to each of them recount their adventure and make her logs in a roundabout manner. A secondhand account. A… perhaps, no, certainly inferior account of the facts... It bothered her more, in these circumstances, than she really cared to admit.

However, not long after she’d made it to her bedroom, there was a tentative knock on the door… Lucretia sighed, a patient sigh, but there was a hint of exasperation there that she just couldn’t control…

“Come in,” she sounded pleasant enough, if a little tired, and folded her hands over her lap as the door cracked open. 

“Heeeeey~” She knew who it was as soon as she spoke, a cheery greeting lilting into the room before Lup followed after, closing the door behind.

… And Lucretia just… couldn’t be upset. Lup was beaming, despite everything, and her smile radiated the same warmth it always did. Lucretia cleared her throat and lifted a hand in greeting.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” She began smiling herself, and Lup strode over, a more confident gait now that she was sure Lucretia didn’t _really_ mind her presence.

“Can I, uh… kick it for a while?” Even as she spoke, she was already flopping down on the bed beside Lucretia, who chuckled into the back of her hand.

“I think you kind of made that decision up for me already,” she motioned toward Lup, who was now lounging, and grinning quite like a bobcat.

Lup waved a finger, “Now _listen_ , if you told me to leave, I’d skeedaddle and you know it.”

Lucretia seemed to consider that for a moment, looking away, before she spoke again.

“I know.”

And they were silent for a while… Lucretia sort of considered asking Lup about their venture into the plane this morning, but it was a conversation she wasn’t so certain she wanted to have right now… with Lup, in her room, kind of-- all to herself? It was an odd way to think about it, perhaps, but it was the best way she could phrase it. She… she was content to just sit with her, if nothing else…

So, instead of taking them to a business oriented, and objectively more dismal sort of mindset, she… grabbed up a mostly full sketchbook from by her bedside table and propped it open, settling in next to Lup, who curiously peered over the edge.

“ _Oooh_ , what’re you working on?”

Lucretia sniggered, “Nothing yet, silly.”

A pseudo exasperated sigh escaped Lup’s lips, and she dramatically slumped back down into Lucretia’s pillow, “Don’t call me _silly._ ”

“Okay, Lup, who is definitely _not_ silly, even a _little bit._ ”

Lup considered that for a moment, “A little condescending maybe, but I’ll take it.”

And then silence once more.

There was only the faint scritch of pencil on paper as Lucretia began to sketch, and Lup couldn’t see what was on the page from her angle, which was bothersome, but she wouldn’t complain… _out loud_. But while Lucretia might be content to sit in silence, the elf felt a little… fidgety. 

So, she took it upon herself to cast levitate on a stack of journals and sketchbooks from Lucretia’s shelves. 

And Lucretia was none the wiser-- at least, until she saw them flutter right by her face and into Lup’s lap… she went slack jawed for a moment, watching her just sort of _help herself_ to her manuscripts.

“A _little_ rude,” she huffed, reaching out to take one of the journals back from the stack, “I have those in a specific order, you know… and they’re just the rough drafts.” She… wasn’t sure why she was feeling so possessive of them suddenly, as if Lup hadn’t been a _part_ of everything she wrote. 

Lup stuck her tongue out a little, already thumbing through one of the silver lined books, “Hey, I’m just doing a little reminiscing, that’s all~” 

Lucretia puffed her cheeks a little, but she didn’t have the heart to protest further… because as soon as Lup found a page to skim, her eyes lit up and she became engrossed. She was practically beaming at the page, and, despite herself, she felt her heart flutter, just a little. Lup was so… pure. Pure, was that the right word? She exuded such a positive energy that it was contagious… 

“I fuckin’ _forgot_ about this! Gosh, this was… this had to be one of the first few cycles! We… we were on that plane with all the motor bikes! You remember, Lucy?”

“I remember everything,” she pointed out succinctly, but there was a smile dancing on her lips, “and especially _that._ You, Taako and Magnus were kind of a bunch of hellions, weren’t you?”

Lup pursed her lips, glancing back at the journal propped on her knees, “That’s… wow, that’s actually exactly how you wrote it. _A bunch of hellions._ ” She deadpanned, narrowing her eyes a little at Lucretia, who was laughing into her hands.

“Besides! You can’t really _blame_ us, can you? A bunch of little high power vehicles, the wind in our hair, the rumble of the engines… an economy based solely on racing wagers and wins!? What a fuckin’ trip! It was amazing!” And she was getting louder and more exuberant as she spoke, lifting her hands and holding them before herself as if holding a phantom motorcycle bar. 

Lucretia watched her fondly, buying into her exuberant energy just a bit as she twirled a finger in the air, “I also remember,” and she gazed back and forth, narrowing her eyes a touch, “your untimely defeat the the hands of _The Tiger._ ” She made a mock clawing motion with her hands, laughter in the back of her throat.

“It wasn’t fair!” Lup protested, slumping to the side and against Lucretia, “Davenport flies the damn ship! He has more vehicle experience than us!”

“He sort of washed you, huh?” Lucretia adjusted herself as Lup put her weight on her, though the color in her cheeks was a little harder to disguise at the sudden warmth in her personal space… “It was a sight to behold. I think if he had the choice, he might have settled down right there.”

“ _He’s_ the real hellion. We were just having innocent fun. He had to go and get all _carnal_ on us.”

“What a fucking _animal_ , right?” Lucretia nodded sagely, and Lup barked a laugh, shuddering against her.

And they continued like that for a while. Every time Lup came across a journal entry that particularly excited her, she’d recount the journey with a boundless, passionate energy… and she was always beaming as she did so, getting up and standing on Lucretia’s bed from time to time to do dramatic reenactments of epic battles and scenes of intrigue… 

And Lucretia smiled more than she felt like she’d smiled in… well, _years._

Lup really was contagious, she supposed. 

They had settled down again after a while, and Lup actually grabbed up a slightly more beaten up sketchbook… and Lucretia reacted immediately, a hand lifting as if she… intended to tug the book away from her. But she stopped herself, lifting her knuckle to her lips instead.

“Oh, Lup… that’s-- that’s an _old_ one…” 

Lup hesitated, just a moment, before opening it and smoothing it out on the bed before herself… and she… She didn’t react in a fiery excitement, more… more a quiet recollection… 

There was a sketch of all of them. Standing on a stage before a messily thrown in group of onlookers… They all looked fresh faced and equal parts excited and nervous… It was a scene directly after the graduation and selection ceremony for the I.P.R.E. expedition…

“Gosh, this--... This was so long ago… Wasn’t it..?”

Lucretia nodded, mussing with the collar of her nightshirt anxiously, “... It... certainly seems that way, doesn’t it..?”

Lup turned the page, and there was a messy portrait of herself and Taako… and then Davenport, Merle, Magnus, Barry… Each looking various states of exuberant and fucking terrified. 

“... I can’t believe how innocently this all started, you know? It… it feels so good to see these. It… God, we had such lofty goals. Ambitions. We had so much fucking hope. Why… why are we _losing it now_?”

Lucretia seemed a bit shaken by the question, and just… how flippantly she posed it, “I… Lup… It’s just…”

“No, I know. It’s fucking exhausting. It’s hard, it’s maybe the hardest thing ever... but… Just look at us, ready to embark on this adventure and, you know, maybe it didn’t turn out at all like we thought it did… but it’s still ours. We still own this. We can still do this…” She ran her fingers lightly over one of the pages, chest heaving a bit with the effort of her words, which had grown in pitch the longer she spoke.

Lucretia was silent, her eyes focused elsewhere… she was lost in thought, in introspection… A heavy feeling seemed to blanket her heart in waves...

But she was interrupted by Lup sucking in a dramatic breath and then… snorting, loudly, an obnoxious bark of a laugh following as she threw herself back against the pillow, “L-Lucy! _Lucy_ , is that supposed to be _Magnus!?_

Before them, on the page, was scrawled what could only be described as a very loose, intentionally exaggerated, cartoony and _terrible_ picture of Magnus. 

Lucretia gasped, reaching out to grab the sketchbook, but Lup actually pulled it away from her, “Oh, _Lup_ , listen! He was being a such a _piss boy_! He was getting on everyone’s nerves and I just-- My hand slipped!”

“What a _magnificent_ slip! I love this so much! I want to wallpaper the Starblaster with this, it’s just _so good!_ ” She was still caught in a fit of laughter, and slowly but surely Lucretia loosened her stiff posture and-- she laughed too, soft at first, but it grew in pitch, and she had to cover her mouth with both of her hands to stifle it.

“If you love it so much, take it. I-- I don’t really need it. It’s not academic in any sense… just me letting off a little steam.”

Lup practically bounded forward at her then, grabbing her knee, “ _Really~?_ ”

“Mmhm.”

“Oh,” Lup flicked her fingers, and the page split from the book with a perfect cut, “Oh, _what a gift you’ve given me on this day._ ” She sounded… well, she sounded just sort of straight up malicious.

“I’m… a little afraid, not going to lie.” Lucretia was still chuckling, despite herself.

Lup folded the picture neatly and sat it to the side, lounging back on Lucretia’s pillows again… 

“Say, Lucretia…”

“... Yes..?”

“I think,” Lup paused, pursing her lips in thought for a moment, “... I think maybe we should start doing this more often. With… with everyone.”

Lucretia seemed to hesitate, brows inclining as she… what was she saying..?

“I mean--” Lup continued through her silence, “... looking at all these old logs… remembering all the journeys we’ve had, all the memories we’ve made together, all the worlds we’ve touched and even… Even the ones we’ve lost… It… It sort of...:

“It just feels really _fucking_ good.”

“Lup…”

“No, I really mean it! It… it’s like sometimes we get so caught in this wash of lives we’re living that we forget the small details… and those are what you’re really good at, you know? … I think your work, remembering what we’ve done... will give us all something we need again…”

Lucretia stared down at the sketchbook page in her own lap, brows worried, fingers quivering just a touch as emotion seemed to creep over her…

“... We need _hope_ , Lucretia… and I think this is just what we need to get it back…”

The sketchbook in Lucretia’s lap was meticulously placed to the side, and before Lup had a moment to respond, Lucretia had thrown her arms around her neck and pulled her into a tight hug.

“... I…” She mumbled into her hair, “... I think you just gave me a whole heaping dose, Lup…”

And Lup beamed… She rejoiced in this hug, probably one of the warmest and softest she figured she’d ever had, “... Paging Dr. Lup, one big ass dose of _hope_ please.”

Lucretia laughed and squeezed her once more, and she sighed, tucking her nose into her hair and just… sort of settling there… for a lingering moment, she just… let herself be tender, let herself be open and soft…

And Lup wasn’t complaining. She closed her eyes and just… held her. And they stayed that way for a long time…

 _Mission fucking accomplished._

Finally, Lucretia allowed herself to slide away, and they locked gazes… and, _God_ , it was intense. Both of them felt it, the flicker of a heartbeat in sync between them… A blossom of warmth that radiated the entire scene, filled their chests, a pleasant ache that felt so fucking right… Lup’s smile was electric, her gaze soft and almost eager, and Lucretia just…

_She looked away._

Lup didn’t allow her smile to falter as she crossed her arms behind her head and leaned back on Lucretia’s pillows once more. 

“Lup… thank you…”

But Lup didn’t answer. 

Lucretia leaned over, eyeing her companion and realizing she… she was asleep. _Already?_

“ _Damn_ , girl.” Lucretia leaned back, drumming her fingers on the edge of her sketchbook… And she watched her… and as she watched, she felt… She felt inspiration-- the way her hair framed her face, the cute little point of her nose… the slow, steady rise and fall of her chest… she… Was really fond of Lup, wasn’t she..? More… More than she ever realized…

Or maybe she did..? She… didn’t know. Lup was. Lup was so _special_. She was raw, honest, and just so fucking radiant. She had a sunshine smile and a laugh that could light up the darkest night… That was, wow-- She blushed at _herself_ , shaking her head and… 

She busied herself.

She was drawing again, pencil moving furiously as she watched Lup, taking in every detail-- not that she needed to, she knew them like she knew her own. After a time, she lowered the sketchbook and regarded her work--

A page alive with her thoughts. 

Lup’s smile, her fits of laughter, her contemplative expression as she regarded her logbooks, her striking a dramatic pose on the edge of her bed, arms lifted in the air in triumph… and now, her sleeping face… 

And Lucretia felt okay. She felt like… maybe, just maybe, this would all be okay…

She put out the light by the bed, tucked that sketchbook underneath her pillow… and she allowed herself to nestle close to Lup… 

And she had one of the best nights of sleep she’d ever had.


End file.
